Beta: Allison Cullen
The Evolution of Breaking Bonds
Chapter 1
Dark Seas
How long has it been? Time is never something I had ever focused on with my old family, my Lost Lover. It was something I barely knew to exist while in his arms, something I didn’t bother to notice…until now.
As I lay on the moss covered ground, I struggle to keep my pain to myself. It is no longer mental torment that plagues me, it is now physical. At first the physical pain was easy to ignore, because the agony of the loss I feel is much, much worse. Now though, the pain is not just from loss, but from hunger, hunger for his blood. This is when I realized it had been too long.
I made a promise to him, a promise that he will not feel or know the same pain. To him I don’t even exist, to him he suffers no loss. I vowed it will be my pain, my pain alone, to carry for eternity. I didn’t know it would hurt this much.
Oh god, is there any clarity in this insanity, which is my burden?
It isn’t making it any easier on my body that I am losing blood. When I made my vow, and played with time, I undid so many things. I never once thought about the toxins I had once taken from my allies. I should have known that idea was the Mega Beast and not my part of my destiny. I tried to think about how many times I’d bled monthly, but the twitching in my body, the muscle spasms made it so hard to concentrate, to think. In the time that I've been here I’ve barely moved at all, as something as light as bending a finger sent my stomach churning and fire rippling through my muscles and limbs.
As I attempt to occupy my mind, I could remember maybe four times including now that I’ve bled. Realizing this made the convolutions harder to bear, harder to control. I try to lift myself, try like hell to get off the ground and do something, but it is no use. I don’t have the strength for anything, not even the strength to protect myself. It had been…weeks possibly since I was able to expand my shield, which sucks, because that means I am exposed to everything.
This can’t be my eternity could it? Lying here on this forest floor for the rest of my unnatural life. There were so many things I never thought to ask because I was so happy.
With him. Nothing mattered…as long as I was with him. I regret it now; I just want to know how to survive without him. That’s all.
I roll onto my back and glance at the night sky. I can’t see it clearly because the canopy from the trees is too thick. I’d taken refuge here a while back, when I lost the ability to shield myself from the killer rays of the sun.
“Please, if you can hear me, please either take me or send me in the direction of what I am supposed to do now.” My voice was nothing now. My throat’s so dry it hurts to even mumble.
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Seeing my child lost and in despair kills me. I command it to rain, a downpour to help clean her up and offer some relief to her dehydrated skin. I want to help her in so many ways, but the vow to carry the pain was hers to make, so it is hers alone to bear.
Toying with events here and there, relief was on the way, but I have to be smart about it. She is far too good a soul to intentionally harm another, even though she is starving.
I watch her as she attempts to sleep in the mud and dirt. I want to pick her up and pull the debris from her hair,the ticks and mites from her skin and pull her close. I want to assure her that I will never leave her and that in my shadow lies the peace and grace that she seeks. But first she must decide to follow me, first she must decide that the ‘mother or father’ of her greatest enemy was worthy of her trust, worthy to lead. I want to give her everything because right now, she feels like she has nothing.
Nothing but pain, nothing but emptiness.
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I don’t know why I try to sleep. It’s almost impossible to do when your body is trembling. I open my eyes and like the rest of me my vision is failing me. There is never anything new to see anyways, everything is always the same. My eyelids began to close again, because I just don’t have the energy to keep them open. Then I realize something is different, not a sight, but sounds.
Someone is coming toward me. I flare my nostrils and take in as much air around me as my lungs will allow. It’s two men, and by the sounds of it, they are pulling something. My body tenses because I’d picked this area in hopes that I would never come across humans. I am such a danger to them.
So much for hoping.
I let my eye lids fall again, hoping it’s a bad dream. If not I hope at the very least they won’t see me.
“What the-?” One male exclaimed. I felt him walk closer and I held my breath. I feel the toe of his boot bump against my arm. They obviously think I’m dead.
“Fuck we are not going to bury her body too.” Another male’s voice called out as I hear him drop what he is dragging.
I squeeze my eyes shut. This is such a bad situation. I could tell that what they are dragging is human, and it is bleeding, barely alive. My gums start to throb as my fangs elongate. I want to get up and run away. I push through the thought of feeding from them; as thirsty as I am, I have no doubt I will kill them. I don’t want to be a killer.
“No, this bag of bones is not what I am worried about.” The first male stated and then he kicks me. Out of reflex I growl, but since my throat is so dry and he doesn't react. I figured it was far too low for him to hear. “All we need to worry about is the child, we have to bury her deep too, we don’t want anyone finding her.”
I flare my nostrils again when I heard him say ‘child’. The body they are dragging is a child, a female and even though my senses are dull I can tell by the scent of her blood that she is no older then sixteen.
Human or not, the idea these animals hurt a child infuriates me. I feel a surge of power come from somewhere deep inside me. It hits me hard and fast. I grab the man closest to me by the leg and pull hard. I hear his bones break, and the howl he lets out assures me that I have just broken his leg. He drops to the ground beside me. I intend on making it quick and painless for him.
Before I can act on my thirst I hear the other man shout loudly, “What the fuck?” He then raises a gun aiming for me. I hissed then growled and I am terrified because I have no shield to protect me from bullets. I lunge for the man with the gun and send him falling back. I hear the gun go off and I feel a burn in my shoulder. A broken branch pierced the man’s body as he fell back, sending his blood in small rosy droplets onto my face. I feel my control snap and my hunger prevails. I pull my lips back and sink my teeth deep into his neck. As his warm blood gushes over my tongue I can taste the cheap liquor. When it mixes with the salty sweat on his skin it leaves a coarse taste on my tongue and in my mouth. I feel the man die underneath me, but I feel my own body awaken. He is nothing compared to the blood of my Lost Lover, but it is better than nothing.
I hear the gun cock behind me and react instantly turning and lunging simultaneously on the man whose leg I had just broken. I sink my fangs deep into his jugular relishing in the feel as his blood rushes into my mouth. I am so starved for blood that it only takes me mere seconds to drain him. I look at the blood on my hands as I stand over the second man’s carcass and the aura that left me has now returned, covering my hands and then moving over my arm to cover the rest of my body. It’s not nearly as strong as it had been before, but it’s strong enough to get me going.
I hear a small whimper from behind me. It’s the child. I retract my fangs and walk over to her and then kneel beside her. The child’s face is beaten so badly her eyes are swollen shut. She’s naked and shivering. I do the only thing I can think of. I reach for my first kill’s shirt and rip it from his body, then drape it over the child’s body.
“Shh, I won’t hurt you.”
The young girl doesn't say a thing, only moans. I take pants from one of the men, and then the thick flannel from the other. I put them as gently as I can onto the girl and then I reach out with my mind to search hers. I need to know where she came from. I tense when memories of the last three days of her life rush at me. Those fucking men had starved her, raped her, and beat her. She thought she was going to die. It brought back memories of my own death many years ago.
I can’t dematerialize with the frail human in my arms. This frustrates me. Human blood isn’t strong enough to return that kind of power. Walking is all I can do. I lift her into my arms and walk in whatever direction my gut dictates. I don’t have to walk far before I reach a road, and across that road I spot a large house. It dawns on me that this whole time I have been in a state park or something, but I am still lost as to where I really am in the world.
The first house I see is good enough for me. The child in my arms needs medical attention and quickly. It is the only house in my sights that have all the lights on. “You will be okay. I will make sure of it,” I whispered against her ear. I close my eyes resting my forehead against hers for just a second before kissing her head and placing her gently on the doorstep. I ring the doorbell and ghost into the shadows, listening as the residents come for the door.
The man who answers the door looks to be someone who takes care of himself and no doubt by the size and feeling I get from the home the male takes care of his family as well. He glances down on the fragile body that lay on his front step. He exhales and immediately calls for his wife, and then yells for her to call 911. I feel better knowing that the child will receive the medical attention she needs.
I really hope the girl makes it, and hope even more that they will locate the child’s parents. The girl is far too young to experience such a horrific thing.
While the people who live in the house are occupied by the child I laid on their porch, still in shadow I make my way inside the home. I make my way through the home searching through drawers and random papers, unsure of what I am looking for. I come across a piece of mail received the day before with the address Southborough, Massachusetts. It is a coupon from a nearby store. I slide it into my pocket and make my way silently out of the home leaving the occupants to deal with the child.
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Alelan, she is a pure soul. The purest of what is left. I am truly blessed she took the offering I sent to her.
As I watched her gain control of the mental and physical pain to save that child, my heart filled with hope. The home she picked for the child was the best, and she does not know it yet, but those people are wealthy with love. The child is an orphan, no home, no family, and no love…until now.
I watch now as she moves through the home unseen and unheard. I am merry when I watch her look for an indication of her whereabouts. She is now taking the first step to her evolution, the first step to becoming whole again. I send the animals around the forest to feast on the carcasses of the filthy humans she killed.
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I make my way back to the bodies of the men I drained of life to clean the mess I made, only to find that natures scavengers had already begun to take care of it for me.
Maybe someone, something heard my plea for help. That has to be the case, how lucky could I possibly get that the first humans I kill are men of hate and violence. Their death gave me something in return. A life to save. It feels so good to do something good, it had been months.
I don’t feel as good as I know I can, but I feel so much better. I know from talks with my old family that human blood is not strong enough to sustain our kind for long, this meant they had to feed more often. They never killed the humans they fed from, only took what they needed, erased their memories and then sent the hosts on their way.
For a brief moment I thought maybe if I took from them I could give them something in return. The thought only lingers for a moment. Nothing will fill the void I feel not having my Lost Lover and children in my life. I don’t want to die though, I vowed I would carry this pain and the idea of me lying flairs the pain that I was able to suppress while I cared for the child
The rushing pain makes my knees weak and I can’t hold myself up so I fall to the forest floor. I begin to think about all the things that the Mega Beast said to me. I think about the chain of past events that happen and led me to make the decision to walk away silently from the people that mean so much to me. It was all lies.
Was there any destiny at all? Is this my destiny? To be a solitary vampire, roaming the world with no real legions, no family, no love.
The idea of this all being true made me swallow over and over again, because it’s just not something that goes down easily. I don’t know of any way out of my nightmare. I can’t escape the loss and I am not sure it’s something I want to escape entirely. I am terrified that if I stop thinking about him, stop thinking about them, they will be lost forever. That is not something I am willing to let happen, at least not now.
I fight the headache that is setting in, to get to the water’s edge, pulling water from the stream in my hand to my mouth, still trying to swallow. I watch as my reflection begins to appear after the ripples settle. I reach up and touch what use to be my red, but is now filthy brown hair. My face is still stained with the blood of the human males. The tattoo around my eye is barely lit and my aura is only a light glow in comparison to the grand radiance it used to be. I swat the water sending my reflection away and I get to my feet.
I don’t want to be here, in these woods all my life. I don’t want to lose touch with the world around me.
A pain shoots from my head to my spine as the face of my Lost Lover and family haunt me. It sends me off my feet again. I pull my knees to my chest and cry. There would always be a piece of me that pulls me to return to him. His pull is so strong, and it takes everything I have to resist. It was not always just pictures of them in my mind, but the feelings that came with them. The feeling that I was home in his arms. Now that he was gone, now that I would never feel his embrace, there is no home.
Giving in I lie down and roll onto my back. I can’t stop crying, and I don’t want to. All I want to do is scream.
“I fucking hate you. You did this. You promised me a happy future, twice! Do you hear me you fucking Mega Beast? One of these days you and I are gonna come face to face again and all this pain and fucking suffering you have caused me is gonna be yours.” I throw my fists into the ground because I don’t know what else to do. “Please if you can hear me; help me find a way to get through this. This agony is tearing me apart, rendering me blind to everything around me. The very reason of which I am is no more. I don’t ever want to forget, I just want to be able to manage, please.”
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1 comment:
I love you..this is just the most beautifully painful saddest fucking thing EVER!!! and I love it <3
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