TEoBB Chapter 5 Flame

Beta: Allison Cullen

The Evolution of Breaking Bonds 

Chapter 5 

Flame 

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It has begun.

And just as I begin to doubt fate, and her ability to form the path of destiny, my son comes to me.

He stands before me telling me of his feelings of her, his desire to give her something because so much has been taken from her and so much more will be taken still. The eyes of deceit are upon Alelan. They are about to taunt her weakness and she will give in.

He vows to me that it’s all for her well-being. My son admits his love for her and his devotion to give her the life she deserves is evident in his eyes.

He can see that I am hesitant in his wishes and he begs of me to give him a chance. He tells me that he will not fail, or deceive her like the other. His intentions are pure and with complete adoration.

He begs me to grant him the permission to take her, to give to her his power, to ensure her proper destiny.

I grant him this, if he fails her, he fails us all. 

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I let the pull of my Lost Lover take me into a vision. The vision is not something from the past, but something that has not yet happen. I see my Lost Lover reunited with a loved one, but finding out he has been further betrayed by his mother is hard on him. He becomes very sad, very dark and it pushes the bonds of everyone around him. His dark path leads him away for days, weeks, maybe even months.

I begin to cry as I see his face in my visions, I feel his pain. I can’t help but think that If I would have stayed he would not take what’s coming his way as hard as he is going to. This makes me cry harder. If I would have stayed he would have other things like me and his children to keep his mind occupied. I would be there to help him through this, keep him from wandering the dark path.

FOR FUCK SAKES WHY CAN’T SHE JUST LEAVE HIM BE. Maybe this is going to happen because I left. Maybe the Mega Beast, that bitch, is mad that I won and needs a way to get back at me. That cunt knows there is only one way to hurt me, him.

I begin to feel angry now and I want to scream. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. I want to explode, I want to go to the heavens and pop the bitch in the chest with a few rounds. I won’t kill her, but it will make me feel so much better.

I know I have to pull myself from this vision. I have to find a way to him, to tell him something, anything to make what he’s about to go through easier, but seeing his face, no matter how lost he looks, makes it so hard to leave. I want to touch him, hold him....kiss him.

I feel so far away.

Oh god there is nothing I would not sacrifice for just one moment! One last kiss, one last touch, one more minute with him. One last time to see him and warn him of the Mega Beasts deceit. I will warn him.

I turn from the vision and run. I run as fast as I can go, taking long strides to try to escape, to wake up or snap out of wherever I am and go to him. My legs start to slow on their own, like something is holding them, keeping me from moving. I expand my aura to push through.

I hear a loud sound, like wood breaking into pieces. A deep grumble and then it’s quiet again and I stop where I am because I don’t know what just happened or why I heard what I did. I hear a heavy breathing sound and then feel something grab my legs again, then something grab my hands. I try to think, try to clear my head.

People.

Someone is holding me. I take in a deep breath and try to smell something, anything to give me clues to what I can’t see. I remember the smell of Rio, but I am not picking up his scent. This is different. This is still musky, but a hint of a sweet citrus. I breathe in deep again. I smell blood this time. Not human, not Rogue, but similar to Rogue.

I relax and try not to move because I figure whoever it is they are not trying to hurt me, they are trying to help me. I open my mouth again trying to speak and that is when I hear a deep, soft male voice.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

I relax more because I believe him. I try to open my eyes, but they won’t budge. I feel like I am caught in a limbo. Not awake, but not a sleep.

In a nowhere. A nothingness.

I manage to make a whimper like noise and I immediately try to open my mouth again to see if I can get some kind of words out, at least to ask who is there with me. I feel something soft but warm rub against the skin on my arms. I realize it has to be a finger or even the back of a hand.

“Please just relax. You’re safe.”

I panic a little bit because I don’t recognize this man’s voice and I don’t understand why I am caught in the state of mind I am in, but as he continues to run his skin over mine I relax, and then I fall asleep.

I dream of my Lost Lover. I know it’s a dream because he walks up to me and pulls me into his arms. I tell him I’m sorry. I say it over and over again with my head against his chest, and when I start to cry he squeezes me tighter.

“I had to, please tell me you understand. I could not allow that Mega Beast to have them, please tell me that you forgive me for taking us away from you, for undoing everything.” I can barely breathe, my chest feels like its swelling from the pain in my heart. I close my eyes because I realize that he won’t tell me that it’s okay, because it’s just a dream.

I continue to cry out the words I so desperately want to tell him. My confessions. “I couldn't have our own son become our enemy, I know you didn’t want that either and I did what I had to, baby. I am protecting us all from years of pain and possibly even regret. I love you all so much, and I miss you all. I hate myself everyday but I don’t regret it. I will not allow myself to regret it.”

I can feel the pain moving through my body, a scorching hot flame licking every square inch of me, of my heart and my soul. It hurts so much and I feel like I am inside an incinerator. Burning alive. I do the only thing I can do. I scream.

My scream is so loud, so shrilling that it wakes me up from my dream. I sit up and look around. I see where the sound of the broken wood came from when I spot a dresser or table that is shattered and lying on the floor in the corner by the door. The room is comfortable with pieces of furniture both new and old. There is no doubt in my mind that this is where The Order lives.

I hear footsteps coming toward my door. Heavy boots it sounds like, maybe combat boots. The strides are long and confident. It’s a male. He stops at the door, turns the handle like he is going to come in but then I hear a knock.

“Hello.” I call out still sitting upright on the bed staring at the door.

The door opens slowly. The male doesn't open the door all the way and peeks his head in.

“Hello.” He greets me. “May I come in?”

“Yes.”

It is only one male that had asked to enter the room I am in but two males enter. One of the males, the first to enter has dark hair and pale grey eyes. The other, the second one has dirty blond hair with green eyes. The dark haired male pointed to couch in the room a few feet away from the bed then asks, “Do you mind if we sit?”

I shook my head letting them know it is okay. Both males are anxious and wary of me. Their eyes never leaving me even to see where they are going. I smile to try to ease their feelings of me. They don’t smile back.

“Where am I?” I ask looking around the room.

“You are at The Order's compound. I am Lucan and this is Tegan.” Lucan introduces them and I know just by him being first he is the male that is ‘in charge’.

“Pleasure. I am Alelan, and thank you for taking me off the streets last night when I…blacked out.”

“You’re welcome. We couldn’t leave you out there no knowing anything about you and why you have been taking out Rogues. That is you right? The one that has been killing all those Rogues?” Tegan inquires.

I nod.

“Why?” Lucan tilts his head, “Why join a war that is not yours?”

“Why do you think it’s not mine?”

“Alelan you are not one of our kind. You are not human. I fail to see how this is your war.”

“I can’t fight for humanity itself? Lucan, I may not be like you, and I may not be human, but I was once and to me they are worth fighting for.”

“Used to be?” Tegan tilts his head now.

“Yes, I use to be human.”

“And now you are?” Tegan presses further.

I smile at them and almost laugh because I am not sure how to take the tone in which he asks. It almost sounds like he is trying to slyly pry information from me. I end up letting out a little giggle when I reply. “I am different. A different breed of...” I take a pause because I notice how badly they are anticipating the answer to the question and for the life of me; I can’t not fuck with them. “...Vampire.”

Tegan laughs and I see Lucan look at him with surprise. It’s as if Lucan has never seen

Tegan laugh. I didn’t understand what is so fucking funny.

“What’s funny about that?”

“I have never seen or heard of a female vampire in the 7 plus centuries I have been alive.”

“Are you calling me a liar, Tegan?” I want so badly to vanish from the bed only to appear right in his face and give a good hiss. I am still considering the option.

“I don’t know what you are, but I know you’re not human or Vampire.”

“Oh fucking really?” I try to breathe, taking deep breaths to keep from going off on the male.

He is still fucking laughing.

I know I shouldn’t but the breathing thing isn’t working. I release my cloak making me invisible to them and spring from the bed. I pull Tegan from the couch and onto the floor. My body crouched on his chest I appear mere millimeters from his face baring my fangs and hissing. I can sense Lucan getting up from the chair and I force him to stay in place with a small jolt of electricity. I get nose to nose with Tegan, “Do you still think I am not vampire?”


I hear a herd of heavy footsteps running toward the bedroom door and I expand my aura, this prevents anyone from being able to get into the room. I turn my attention to Tegan who is lying underneath me. He is not scared of me but I can feel, smell, and taste his confusion in the air that surrounds us.

“I am a vampire, I am a female, and I am much stronger then you. How does that make you feel warrior?”

Tegan’s green eyes locked on mine, they feel as if he is penetrating my very soul. “I’m sorry. Forgive my ignorance.” Tegan's voice is sincere and low.

I jump off his chest and face Lucan. I speak loud enough for the entire compound to hear what I have to say. “I am not here to fight you and your brethren. Just say the word and I will go. Leave you and your family in peace.”

Christ I’m just trying to survive.

I pull my aura in and a mass of large warrior men come charging into the door. I expand my aura to only shield me but I don’t even look at the door, I only keep my eyes locked with Lucan’s.

Lucan holds up his hand, no doubt giving the command of halt. “I believe you, Alelan, and I apologize for Tegan's behavior. Surely you can forgive him, because he is right; our breed does not have the honor of female vampires. We also do not want to fight with you. I look forward to learning more of you and your kind.”

I glance to the door filled with warrior men and human women. These were no doubt their mates. I could tell by the look in some of the females' eyes.

“Excuse me; I have to use the restroom.” I tell them and walk into the bathroom keeping my aura up to protect myself. When I close the bathroom door I hear them talking quietly between each other. I want to listen and see what is being said, but it’s hard to concentrate because I have not been around mates since I left my old life. I have not been around people who love each other beyond the idea of love. I know their bonds are going to push at me, make it really hard for me to be around them.

This is a bad idea. I should just leave. No, I need to be at full strength before going to my Lost Lover one more time. Otherwise I will never be able to pull it off.

I throw some cold water on my face, take a deep breath and exit the bathroom. “I know you are curious about me, of my kind, but please know before you start asking questions I am only able to share but so much.”

“Why?” Tegan asked.

I close my eyes and swallow hard before I dig into the depth inside me and confess my pain and my burden. “I am bound by a promise of pain. To tell you everything would be as though I am breaking the promise I made. I won’t do that.” I explain first then open my eyes to look at my audience. “I’m extremely hungry and I have not eaten in about a day, so, is there somewhere we can sit and talk while I possibly nibble on something?”

“You have been here for 2 days.” A clean cut male says from the crowd of bodies in the room.

Two days. I’m confused now and either my creased brow showed them or they picked up on my feelings.

“You have been sleeping the whole time.” This same male tells me. “I am Sterling.” He introduces himself and then he steps forward holding his hand out to mine. My head is still foggy but I reach my hand out to shake his. I take a deep breath in and I smell the musky, yet citrus, sweet scent I smelled before.

“You.” I say and then I meet his gaze. “You are the one that has been sitting by me while I was out of it.” He doesn't respond at first but then he nods. “Oh my god, did I hurt you? Are you the one who landed on that piece of furniture over there?” I ask as I point to the broken and splintered remains of the furnishing.

“I am ok. You just caught me off guard that’s all.”

“I am really sorry. I could hear a little bit and when I realized I was not alone I tried to control myself a little bit more. Thank you though.”

He nodded and smiled at me. “You’re welcome.”

I looked past Sterling and spotted Rio. “Rio it was you that found me that night?”
Rio raised an eyebrow to me and nodded. I know he is curious as to why I know his name. Quickly I reach into the mind of the vampires that surround me and get small glimpses of their lives and their names.

“I know each and every one of your names.”

“How?” Lucan asks.

“Sometimes I just know things.” Is what I tell him, I don’t want to give them a reason not to trust me and I feel like if I tell them I just invaded their privacy it would make it harder to give me that trust.

Savannah, the female who is mated to the warrior Gideon clears her throat, “Come Alelan, let’s get you fed.” She holds out her hand to me. She is a beautiful woman. Her skin is darker and flawless. Her long dark hair flowing around her shoulders and down her back.

I take hold of her hand and she leads me from the room down a long hallway. I can hear the footsteps of the others following. There are doors all along this hallway and I am convinced this is the longest hallway in the world because it feels like twenty minutes go by before she announces, “Here we are.”

The room is large and there is a dark wood table that sits in the middle of this room. There have to be 20 chairs around the table and it reminds me of my old home. I stop abruptly in my walk and close my eyes. I swallow the lump in my throat that is being built from the pain of the memories. When I open my eyes I walk over and pick a chair to sit down. Sterling and Hunter join me while the other warriors kiss their females and close the door behind them as their families walk from the room.

“Savannah will bring your food as soon as it’s done. She is a great cook.” Gideon smiles and sits directly across from me. I can feel his excitement, the idea of learning something new and it makes me smile.

“Thank you.”

“So then you eat food. How are you able?” Gideon asks still sporting the grin.

“I don’t know. My kind not only depends on the blood of each other but food as well.”

“How many more are there?”

“Just a small city worth. My kind is going extinct; the battle within itself is killing our numbers.”

“Do you have Rogues?” Lucan asks.

“No we have our own enemy I suppose you can say. They are just as strong as your Rogues. Our enemy though is nothing like us. Your Rogues are still vampires, but they are lost to the bloodlust. Our enemy is created by a much greater evil. They are intelligent, logical and outnumber our own warriors.”

They all remind me of the family I left and it’s so hard for me to just sit and not break down and cry.

“Our females possess abilities and none of theirs or ours work on you. Do you know why?” Gideon asks and his smile is faded now.

Again I shake my head. “I don’t and you’re not the first breed outside my own to try. I have never understood fully why I am so different, so strong, but I assure you that if I ever find out I will let you know.” I smile at the warriors around the table and swallow my pain. “I just need a day of steady meals and then I will get out of your hair. I need to regain my strength before I go to help.” I stop short and think about what I am about to say.

“Before I go to help someone who is important to me.”

“What do you need? To make you stronger.” Sterling asks.

“Just rest, food, and before I leave I will feed on one of your Rogues, but I am sure you don’t mind that part.”

“You drank from them.” Lucan expression is both one of confusion and surprise.

“Yes. My kind can feed on humans but their blood is not strong enough to last us long. Normally we feed from our own species but opposite sex. Your Rogues' blood is strong; I suspect it is from the bloodlust that makes their blood as strong as it is. It tastes like shit though.”

“I’m not sure how to feel about that.” Lucan admitted. “We have never had anyone feed from us.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, he still carried his confused expression and I could tell his mind had drifted off somewhere.

“You can have whatever time you need and how much ever food you want. When you are done here you can kill however many Rogues you need and then be on your way. It was a pleasure to meet you Alelan and I wish you the best on your journey.” Lucan announced, then stood from his seat and rushed out of the room at vampire speed.

OKAY.

The rest of the warriors get up and follow behind with the exception of Sterling who only sits and looks at me, but he doesn’t say a word. When Savannah returns with the food he walks to the door, takes it from her hands and brings it over to me. Sterling smiles and then walks out closing the door behind him.

What the fuck just happened?

I know all I have to do is expand my mind and I can see what is going on, but I already feel like I have enough to worry about so I look at the food that Savannah has prepared and I’m grateful I have what I have. She made me a turkey sandwich with all kinds of toppings on it and it looks delicious. I bring the sandwich to my mouth and take a big bite. Chewing my food I sit in silence, alone, eating my sandwich and it is awkward at first because I just don’t understand what happened, but then I appreciate silence.

Go To Chapter 6 ~>

TEoBB Chapter 4 Sight

Beta: Allison Cullen

The Evolution of Breaking Bonds 

Chapter 4 

Sight 

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I wish that I could console my daughter and let her know that she is not alone in her pain. I long to embrace her and tell her that everything she has endured and sacrificed serves a greater purpose.

Surviving by doing things that she finds morally repugnant is against her creed. Watching this is agonizing, but I will not look away.

I watched Alelan remove the clothes from the human female who was finally at peace. She cried at the enormity of the situation. Her hands shook and her voice cracked as she pleads with the poor dead female for forgiveness. I caught each tear, unable to let the precious life giving moisture fall to the ground. The woman was not the purest of souls but that mattered not to Alelan, she was tortured just the same.

When she found that minion, she saw in his mind the evil that willed him to do atrocious things. She was enraged, furious that something would control the free will of others. Alelan could see she could not help the misguided human, and did the only thing she could think of; she took the money from the minion’s creator, took the profit the vampire would have made that evening, but apologized while doing it.

That's my child.

For months now she has fought the rouges, all in the hopes that it will make her introduction with The Order a less hostile one. I want so badly to ensure this for her, but I cannot. These are all things she must do, must see, in order to accept what is coming for her.

The Order’s respect is steadily growing for her. They are curious as to who is doing these efficient and precise acts against the rouges. Their enemy.

This is good for her and me, because the animosity it causes me, to see my daughter struggle, is indescribable. This has all come about so unfairly, and through a deceiving mind.

I see The Order is out heavy this evening searching for her, desperate to find out who she is. I do not feel any ill feelings from them, only a desire to know. 

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Savage fucking killers.

Rogues kill their prey with such callousness that it’s hard to swallow their handy work when I stumble on a situation I was too late to stop. Ripping flesh from bone was the normal forte for them sick motherfuckers. It makes me feel blind, seeing firsthand what they are capable of and knowing they have been around all these years and yet no other species of vampire even knows they exist.

I think maybe I should be grateful that only a few months ago I encountered them for the first time, but then another part of me wishes I would have known years ago about the Order and their mission to wipe out the Rogues so that I could have helped. I know others that would have helped as well.

I have learned a lot about this breed by hunting and feeding from their Rogues. Physically they are not much different from my kind. They are living, they bleed, they can’t go into the sunlight, and most importantly they can be killed. I suppose it is in the nature of all vampires to bloodlust at some point in their time, however I grateful my kind will only take what is needed and that we do not have to depend on humans for our main source of nourishment.

Makes me appreciate a good steak even more when I am able to get it.

Rogue blood is strong, and I can feed from one and it lasts me for a good month. At first I could hardly control the power surge, now I can summon it. It didn’t take me long to learn either.

I pull the small wad of cash from under a headstone where I have what little belongings I own hidden. My belongings consist of the money I took from the minion, my weapons I got from the drug dealers, and the small piece of fabric I ripped from the clothes I left my last life in. It isn’t much, but right now it’s all I need. I count the bills of money I have left and take only what I might need for the night, enough for a plate of food and a drink.

Minions.

That was something my breed would never do. Take away the free will of another. Stronger vampires brain wash these humans into doing their corrupt bidding, gathering information about The Order, all in the hopes of finding ways to bring the Order to an end. When I apologized to the minion for taking the cash of the vampire who created him, I was only apologizing that he was forced to live such a useless, meaningless life and apologizing that there was no other way than to kill him to free him from the vampire that damned him.

I found him just after a few Rogues had slaughtered the prostitute. The same prostitute whose clothes now cover my body. I fall to the ground holding my stomach because the thought of taking her clothes from her dead body makes me sick. I needed clothes I could move quickly in, granted my breed is fast, but theirs is faster and their moves are not as easy to predict, not because of their speed though, because the bloodlust makes them wild and unpredictable.

I pick the weapons up from under the headstone and place one dagger on each side of my outer thighs into their sheaths. I check the ammo in the guns before sliding them into their holsters that mount my back and strap to my chest. I try not to use the guns because they draw so much attention, and I don’t have a lot of ammo. To get more I have to revisit the drug dealer. I wouldn’t kill him, he is human and that judgment of his life or death is not up to me unless he tries to take my life first. Besides, as much as the thought fucks with my head, I need him. He has access to weapons, and lots of them.

I roll the money I am taking for the night into the fabric from my old shirt and place it lovingly between my tits to keep it secure and safe. Since I have been both feeding and eating regularly I have put back on much of the weight I lost those months I spent in the woods. This makes me happy because I am no longer frail looking and I feel better. At least my body does.

When I am done gathering what I need I slide the headstone back into place and stand facing the world before me. I grab the black trench coat from the ground, put it on to conceal my weapons, and I close my eyes and let the wind guide me to the streets of the city.

Before I even open my eyes I know where I am. I can tell by the hip hop pounding in the background. I am close to where I ran into the dealer that supplied my weapons. That’s fine, I need ammo. I walk toward the sound of the busy city streets and scope out the area for the man I need to see. It does not take long to spot him and his bodyguards. I roll my eyes because the minute they see me the men tense and place at least one hand on their weapon.

As fucking if.

“Hey what up?” The dealer raises his chin slightly.

“Can I speak to you in private?”

He laughs under his breath and turns his head looking from one bodyguard to the other. “Baby, ain’t nothing you got to say that my boys here can’t handle.”

I bitch brow him, but decide whatever, if that’s how he wants it, that’s how he’s gonna get it. “I need ammo.”

“Damn girl. How many fools you baggin’? Maybe I need you instead of them.” He points to the men on either side of him.

“Can we cut the shit here? Seriously, all I asked for was some ammo, however, it’s no longer a request.”

“Are you demanding I give you ammo?” He looks at me like I have lost my mind.

Fuck it, I’ll starve, I’m just going to buy it. I hate working with this motherfucker anyways.

I grab each of his body guards by their collars and push them into one another, ramming their heads into each other and knocking them out cold. I grab the drug dealer by his neck and push him violently against the brick wall of the club behind us. People are looking but I don’t care.

“Listen here…wait, what’s your name?”

He doesn’t answer. I feel him swallow hard, his pulse picks up and he tenses under my hand. I reach into his mind and find out for myself.

“Right. Timmy, hmm you’re not so fucking intimidating with the name Timmy. Let me tell you something, Timmy, I will no longer bother you. However if I ever catch you doing shit you shouldn’t be doing like….selling your drugs…I will own your ass. And before you make some really stupid comment, if you ever talk to me, or approach me from this point on, I will cut out your fucking tongue and staple that shit to one of your boy’s balls. We understanding each other?”

“Yeah, Yeah we’re good.” His words are stuttered.

I can’t help the growl that forms in my chest and I let his neck go and walk around the building to the alley.

I can’t lose control of myself.

I start to feel the pull of my Lost Lover. I smell blood, human blood and run down the alley towards the smell. I round the corner and come to an abrupt stop when I see two Rogues cowering over a dead human male. This is the shit that pisses me off, because a human stands no chance against one of them, but two is just un-fucking-fair.

“Hey ass hats.” I yell to get their attention. One immediately looks up at me, in which case I take the opportunity to straight up kick him in the face and he goes flying back away from the body. The other Rogue lunges at me, but I expand my aura and when he hits it he joins his buddy on the ground. They actually get up and start to run, which shocks the hell out of me, because they don’t normally run. I take off after them, trying to keep up.

It’s really hard because the pull of my Lost Lover is growing unusually strong. I follow the Rogues down another more narrow alley way and it’s a dead end. I move quickly and grab my daggers and throw them through the air, each hitting the Rogues in their chest. I hear their screams but the pull of my Lost Lover is so strong now that I feel weak and unable to stand, so I fall with the Rogues. My vision goes black and I fall into nothingness.

I can hear deep voices around me and I panic, not being able to see who the voices belong to. I feel paralyzed though, unable to move because the pull of my Lost Lover is taking me somewhere I have never been before. I get cold and I can feel my body start to tremble. I fight the pull as hard as I can, this has never happened and I am terrified. I feel something warm sliding under my back and then I feel like I am being lifted. I take a deep breath in and a strong male musky scent hits my nose.

Rio.

Go To Chapter 5 ~>

TEoBB Chapter 3 - New Breed

Beta: Allison Cullen 

The Evolution of Breaking Bonds 

Chapter 3 

New Breed 

When I feel that I am no longer moving through the wind I open my eyes, only to see nothing but trees. It’s much colder here though, and the air feels different, smells different, which leads me to believe I am higher in elevation. It’s also almost daylight. My mind starts racing and my heart is right on my mind’s heels, unable to really focus I look around for some kind of cover because I am convinced that I am going to explode from the inside out.

God damn it! Why did I bite him? What the fuck was I thinking?

The sad truth is I wasn’t thinking. I know that. I haven’t really been thinking right since I left my Lost Lover and Old Family.

I need to get a god damn grip.

I spot a cave up the hill a little ways with an opening just wide enough for me to fit in. It’s the perfect place to hide, because if I do explode, it’s gonna be one hell of a light show. I stumble up the hill and squeeze into the cave. Its dark, it’s perfect. The building pressure in my body is so unyielding; it’s making me sick to my stomach. I am dizzy and then completely disoriented and the pressure begins to turn to pain. I double over against the cave wall trying to hold myself together, trying to keep myself from erupting. A part of me wants to let go, knowing that if I do I will feel better, another part isn’t sure I won’t bring the cave down with me if I do let go. I feel like I am trying to breathe under water, trying to climb my way out of mud.

I feel something warm on the back of my neck one second and the next I am flying through the air.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?

For half a second I think I let go and I combusted, but then I land almost at the entrance of the cave and the pain that used to be pressure is still growing. I feel every one of my senses kick online. I am not alone in this cave.

“Go away, you’re not welcome here.” I hear a deep voice echo, accompanied by a large shadow in the distance.

Seething pissed, I growl and take off in a sprint toward the shadow. I hit him with everything I am and I watch him fly back. The male stands up and looks at me as if I was not who he thought I was. I can’t control the rage now, the anger that he ignites inside me. His mouth moves like he is going to speak and I growl again, this time louder, with everything I have. I feel the earth move below me, and then I pounce on him, sending him backwards.

I can’t control the words that are coming out of my mouth and they come out as screams. “What the fuck is your damage? Why the fuck are you in here? What the fuck did I do to you?”

He kicks me in my stomach right where the pressure started to build. I’m airborne again and dematerialize only to materialize behind him as he was standing up from the ground.

“Madre de dios” [1] 

I grab the male by his neck and swing him around face first into the stone wall behind me. The sound of thunder and falling rocks echo through the cave. Then I toss him. He rights himself quickly and charges at me. I feel his warm hands reach my throat and I expand my aura, but he does not let go and it sends us both flying. We hit the cave floor and slide with our hands around each other’s necks. He growls and I hiss in his face. It feels so good to have strong hands on me, have a hard body underneath me.

He’s so warm.

I’m straddled over him just right; I know he can feel the sticky heat radiating from me, by the way I feel his cock begin to harden against me. Any rational part of my mind shuts off as my body begins to react on its own. He growls again, but this time his growl is lower and, sultry, and instead of growling or hissing I kiss him. The kiss is far from tender, and his kiss is just as hostile. Again he growls and it feels like a machine gun vibrating through me, causing my cunt to gush. From the way his fingers dig into my hips I know he can smell me and judging by how much harder his cock gets, I know he likes it.

Motherfuck!
I lift his back from the ground by his collar. I push his jacket from his shoulders and reach for his shirt but he traps my hands momentarily pulling my hoodie off. His head begins it’s descend to my bare skin but I am un-fucking-interested in anything but getting him naked and his dick inside me. I pull his shirt off hearing the fabric tear a little but that is not my problem. He curses and flips me onto my back pulling my pants down my legs. Although this entire exchange has taken mere seconds I am itching for the fucking to commence. I push him onto his back and pull his pants down just enough to free his cock, leaving them around the top of his thighs. I’m so fucking wet and he’s so fucking hard all I have to do is move my hips slightly and he slides deep inside me, my wet cunt covering him from the head of his dick to his balls.

Holy fuck. 

We both moan loudly. He feels so good. I start bouncing up and down on his swollen cock. I feel my aura seep out around us and the pain I was feeling is already starting to subside within me. The male flips me onto my back and then lifts us from the cold cave floor. I let out a growl in protest and he pushes me against the cave wall and plunges his dick back inside me. Each time he pushes I can feel the wall cut the skin on my back, only adding to build of my climax. He turns his face away from me as his thrusts pick up, our bodies slapping where our skin meets, growing louder and louder as his pace became more ferocious.

I can feel blood start to ooze down my back from the rocks in the walls cutting me. I dig my nails into his shoulders, and the male’s body tenses and he begins to scream. His intensity sends me spiraling into a mad fucking orgasm and I come all over his dick. He comes right behind me, bucking his hips harder into my pussy. I come again and all that pressure and pain I was feeling when I crawled into this cave is gone. I am free.

The male falls to the ground with me in his arms and my legs still wrapped around his hips. We are both shaking, both panting.

“Que diablos es eso?” [2]

I have no clue what the hell he’s saying and I really don’t care. All I know is this man gave me a much needed release. Fuck, what would this cost me though? How far is this going to set me back?

That was so wrong. What have I done? Oh god, I’m so sorry.

I feel the pull of my Lost Lover and I start to cry, because I feel as if I have just crossed some kind of boundary.

“I’m so sorry.” I stand up and walk over to my clothes and begin to get dressed.

“For?”

“I fucking attacked you and then used you to make myself feel better. God damn it, I am sorry, I shouldn’t have fought with you and I shouldn’t have fucked you. I could have killed you, all because I’m going through some shit right now and my head is fucked.”

God damn it, I could have. What the hell is wrong with me?

“No. I attacked you and I’m sorry. My mind isn’t right these days.” He admitted.

I look up at the male and look into his eyes. He wasn’t right; his mind was somewhere else. I see these intricate marks on a big portion of his body and I watch them change colors. I know they mean something; much like mine did at one time. He is a beautiful male, dark olive skin, topaz eyes. His face is scarred, but it does not make him less attractive, it actually makes him more attractive, it shows off his strength, that he has survived something horrific.

“What are you?” He asks me. It dawns on me then, that he is not a human male. He is unlike anything I have ever come across and no doubt he thinks the same about me.

“I should be asking you the same thing.” I say then I walk over to him and hold out my hand to help him off the cave floor.

“You can see in the dark? See me?” he inquired further and then he accepts my hand.

I only nod.

“Why did you come in here?”

I can’t really answer the question so I tell him, “I ate something bad, I was in pain, I needed a place to rest.”

“But you’re not anymore?”

“No.”

“What did you eat?”

I help him with his shirt because I need to wipe his memories and get the hell out of here. When he was dressed I put one palm on either side if his face and press my head to his. I let my aura surge and cover us both.

“Eres un angel?” [3]

I am not sure what he said but I did understand the word angel and that only put one image in my head. My Lost Lover. Thinking of him, still feeling his pull on top of what I just did. I can’t stop myself from tearing up. I blink to clear my eyes and I feel a tear make its way down my cheek.

The male’s breath hitches and he raises his hand and wipes away my tear. “No lloras, Angelito. No has echo nada mal.” [4]

I can tell by the sound in his voice his words are meant to sooth me in some way. I think it’s a really nice gesture, and a huge change from what I walked into when I entered the cave. I can tell he is a worthy male, going through his own torment, his own hell on earth. I search his mind and I see images of his torment. A past lover. I see blood crazed vampires which were no doubt what I had encountered earlier, what I had fed from, which had led me here, to him. I see brotherhood, legions, family and bonds. A whole new world. I see green and gold eyes, I see a new love, and I see her call him by his name.

“Rio, we’ll see each other again. You got someone special coming for you. Your pain is coming to its end.” I whisper in his ear. I kiss his cheek and quickly riffle through his memories of me; wiping everything that happened from the time I entered the cave, and then dematerialize away.

I take form not too far outside the cave. I can’t believe what I saw in his eyes, in his mind. A new breed. I feel the pull of my Lost Lover grow inside me and now I feel horrible, guilty. I almost can’t stay upright because of the pull and the guilt. I really want to give into my emotions, but what’s done is done and I have something new now to keep me occupied, the new breed, the new world, the rouges.

I close my eyes and with direction for the first time in a long time I head back to Boston.


_________________________________________________________________________

mother of god[1]
What the hell was that?[2]
Are you an angel?[3] 
Don’t cry angel you have done nothing wrong.[4]

TEoBB Chapter 2. Identity

Beta: Allison Cullen 

The Evolution of Breaking Bonds 

Chapter 2 

Identity

I open my eyes to see where the wind has taken me. I groan as I open my eyes and realize that the wind has brought me to a god damned cemetery. “What the hell? Why here?” I shake my head and look around at the rows of headstones. “Fuck awesome. Nothing says good time like hanging with the dead.”

Who knows, maybe it’s a sign.

The cemetery is large and there are plenty of big, old trees to provide me a lot of cover. I see a sign across the small road that leads around the cemetery, and I realize I am still in Massachusetts. By the dense air and sounds of heavy traffic I know I am very close to the city. I spot a hospital across the street, and I can sense by the smell of fresh cut grass and sand there is a golf course close by as well.

Maybe this isn’t such a great location.

It may work, however it lacks one thing I am dying to have, a nice, hot, shower. I stay in shadow as I move silently through the cemetery, taking in my surroundings. I see that the golf course I smelled is right behind the hospital, and then I see a small sign that catches my attention. I reach in my pocket and pull the coupon that I took earlier from the home of the kind people who’d helped the child. I look at the coupon and then look up at the store. They were the same.

I really need fresh clothes.

I close my eyes and cringe at the idea of taking something without paying. I feel so low at this point and I want to crawl in one of the graves and die. With a deep breath and against everything I believe I materialize inside the small store. I allow my cloak to conceal me in case the store is wired with cameras or security alarms.

I will only take what I need. 

With that in mind I find a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a hoodie, and a pack of undies. I know I have lost so much weight from not eating so I decide to try the clothes on, but when I catch my reflection I change my mind. It takes everything I have to stare in the mirror. Slowly I start to peel the dirty clothes from my body and I almost double over to heave the nothingness that my stomach has become. I study my skinny arms with disgust until my eyes wander to my hands. The tips of my fingers are tinged with red where they had bled from my clawing at the forest floor and the skin of my hands are cracked from the cold. Filth! Filth so deep I can’t even make out the tattoos that cover my arms, neck, chest and back. I can see the bones that make up my ribs and when I turn to see the back I can see my spine.

I am nothing that I use to be. 

My hair is so matted and tangled it is half the length of what it should be, and it is dark as dirt, because that is what I have been laying in. Mud and dirt. I reluctantly pull back on my grimy clothes and return to shadow. I vow to myself to return and pay the owner back for what they have lost. When I am out of the store I look around for a hotel and being so close to the city it doesn’t take me long to fine one.

I take form in an alley, just outside the Hotel. I am not sure how to put thoughts and suggestions into human minds. My old family would tell me how they could manipulate the thoughts of humans because their minds are weak, much weaker than vampires. I am so desperate for a hot shower that I am willing to try.

With as much pride as I can muster up I come out of shadow and walk to the door of the hotel. I am surprised when the door man opens the door for me with a smile, even though I look like a street rat with a heavy drug addiction. The minute the desk clerk makes eye contact with me I hold his gaze in mine and begin to invade his mind with ideas and thoughts. When I reach the desk he nods, hands me a key and I go on my way.

I feel so horrible. No matter if human minds are weaker or not, I feel like I have no right to invade their privacy and take their free will away. Stricken by guilt I close my eyes and continue my walk of shame to the room that I just acquired wrongly, in shadow. The room I was given was on the top floor in the very back, this is fine with me because I don’t plan on staying long.

The minute I get inside the room I walk into the bathroom. I rip the dirty clothes from my body and will the shower to start. I almost cry when I see how stocked the hotel bathroom is. Shampoo, conditioner, a toothbrush with toothpaste. I had forgotten how nice it was to have those things at my disposal.

I step into the shower and I flinch and back away from the hot water when it first hits my skin. It feels like it has been forever since I have taken a hot shower, it’s not something my skin is used to. I slowly make my way back under the water, and now it feels much better. Soothing. It dawns on me that I might take longer than I had anticipated. The water is almost black as I wash the dirt, mud and debris from my hair. I wash it twice, because it feels so good and I am not sure how long it will be before I can do this again.

When I step out of the shower I feel so much better already. I brush my teeth, and then decide to brew some coffee for the simple reason of it being there at my disposal and it smells so good.

Like home.

When I get back into the bathroom I turn the bathroom light on and then I reach to turn it back off because even with a shower my reflection looks no better. I can see my tattoos again. Remnants of a destiny never reached. I let the towel that covers my body fall to the bathroom floor. I think for a moment that I need to do something about them, reflecting on a lost past I turn to see the story that continued on my back. When I lay my eyes on the scribed marking on my lower back I can’t breathe.

An acute pain shoots through my body from the bottom of my spine to my heart and then to my head.

“Fuck, I would give anything to see your face right now, to hear your voice.” My Lost Lover’s pull brings me to the floor below me. I can feel him; I can see him in my mind now, looking at me with his brilliant eyes and cocky smile. His mouth is moving but I can’t hear what he is trying to say. I don’t need to, I can feel it.

“No, I can’t baby.” I begin to cry because telling him I can’t do something for him kills me. “I’m sorry. I have to get up.”

I look in the mirror when I get to my feet. I run my fingers over the tattoo around my eye. This is what warns the world that I belonged to him. That I was more than just a woman. I was a protector, a guardian. I feel his pull again and I fight to keep upright, struggle inside against it.
“I have to get rid of them baby, but I will keep this one.” I try to breathe, it’s so hard because the tears are coming to fast, too hard. “I’m gonna keep this one.” I tell him as I run my fingers over the tattoo again. It’s almost as if I can see him ask why. “If I keep this one, I have to stay away. I’m so sorry Angel Mine.”

With determination and even through hard sobs I walk over to the phone and call the front desk. The lady who answers must feel bad for me, because she treats me as if I am a real paying guest. Not a crook, not a killer, not the lost bitch that I am. I tell her I need scissors and I order food while I am at it. I sit on the bed and breathe deeply to gain control over my emotions. It does not take long for the scissors to arrive and I am relieved to have something to divert my attention. I’m ready to start the evolution from my past. I think. I answer the door in my towel and the young man who brings them greets me with a smile. I nod, take the scissors and close the door.

I remove the towel from my head as I walk into the bathroom. I comb through it quickly with the comb that comes with the room and then I raise chunks of it, and cut it free. I can’t keep the tears back as I see my Lost Lovers hand gently running through my hair all those many nights we spent together, lying in bed, watching, adoring each other. I feel like I am cutting something he loved from me, and this idea is tearing me apart with each chunk of hair that falls to the bathroom floor.

By the time I am done with my hair I hear a knock at the hotel room door. I can smell the food and I feel my stomach rumble. When I answer the door I insist on pulling the cart into the room, and hotel employee doesn’t put up a fight.

It doesn’t take me long to eat the food, I eat it too quickly to really taste it, but I don’t think anything of it. Nothing is really important right now; at least that’s how it feels. I push the cart into the hallway and then I think about what I am about to do next. I shake the tears back, because god damn it, I’m not gonna cry again. Pulling the towel from my body one more time, I turn in the mirror and look at my tattoos one last time. These were the same tattoos that started as dreams and turned into the ink I see now. I mapped my destiny I thought; now they all just seemed my dreams.

Nothing more. Christ why couldn’t I have seen this? I guess it wouldn’t have mattered though, wouldn’t have changed anything. I guess.

With my foot I move the towel to cover the gap under the door. I don’t want any light to escape. I don’t want any unwanted attention. I close my eyes and allow my aura to build around the top of my head and slowly permit it to seep down. I can feel it move over my body, and each inch it moves I can feel my tattoos being pushed deeper into my skin, until they are gone. I can feel the aura moving down my back and right before it gets to the tattoo on my lower back, I open my eyes and look at it in the mirror one last time. I start to feel his pull. I close my eyes and turn my head away from the mirror.

“I’m sorry.” I can barely even whisper, before I allow my aura to wipe the tattoo that I received on the day of my mating. The pain is unbearable. I lose feeling in my legs and I collapse to the bathroom floor bawling.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Oh god, please forgive me. I didn’t want to lose you. It hurts me so much to live without you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

I don’t know how long I lay there sobbing. Apologizing in my head over and over, eventually I get to my knees to crawl towards the bed. I curl up under the covers and let myself sleep.

When I wake up I stretch and glance at the clock on the bed side table. I slept for 4 hours, that is the longest I have slept since I left my Lost Lover. I can already feel that I am going to have to feed soon, and I honest to god don’t know how I am going to do it. I think about what I have done, erasing the life that was etched on my body, it still hurt like hell, but the life those tattoos reminded me of, hurt far worse.

Pushing the rising pain I can feel building at the base of my skull, I get up and go into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I look in the mirror and realized I had cut off more of my hair than I had intended. It used to hang over my ass, but now it’s just a few inches past my shoulders. I realize I need so much, just in personal hygiene items alone, and I have no idea how I am going to do that either. I shake my head at myself and figure the best place to start to do anything is by getting dressed.

Dealing with all this shit is just too fucking hard. 

When I am done getting dressed I walk over and pick up the clothes that I had worn for so long, torn and dirty. The last time he’d kissed me I was wearing these; the last time I held my children I was wearing these clothes. I find that I don’t want to get rid of them, but decide to rip a small piece of the shirt free. I pull it to my nose and inhale deeply. I can still smell them.

Every last one of them. 

With the old clothes in my hand I walk over to the window and open it as wide as I can. I summon all my energy and watch as the clothes burst into blue flames and quickly turn into dust. I watch as the wind carries the ashes from my hands into the night sky. I can feel the tears in my eyes, falling down my check, but I won’t give into the sorrow this time. I feel my Lost Lovers pull.

“I’m not letting you go. This was just something I needed to do.”

Right as I am about to close the window and pack as much of the hotel’s generous freebies as I can, I feel my fangs elongate, and I smell blood, and judging by how strong the blood is, it’s close, and a lot of it. I can feel my instincts kick in and I go deep into shadow and follow the scent. When I materialize I look down to my feet and I see a human, dead with almost his entire throat missing. Even though I am hungry with thirst, the brutality of the human’s death makes me sick to my stomach. I followed the groans and growls that are coming from around the corner. I see three monsters fighting over a small female body. She is bleeding on the pavement. They are fighting over her, feeding from her, draining her dry.

I can feel my blood start to boil. I can also feel that these monsters are vampires, but nothing like me. Nothing like my family or the alliesI had made once. They are crazy, driven by an extreme hunger and desire to do horrid things. I growl thinking of how the humans must have been terrified before these fuck nuts took their lives. When they raise their heads toward me their eyes are the colors of burning embers, and they have a vertical slit in their eyes, just as feral as a cat.

I step toward them and decide they were not going home tonight, no matter where they were from. I refuse to let them kill like this again. The first and the biggest stood and growled at me, challenging to protect his prey. I could see that there is no turning back for me now, I either have to stay and fight, or turn and die. I am next on their menu.

“Too fucking bad, motherfuckers.” I tell them with a smile because I have already decided on their fate.

I let large amounts of hate and anger fill my heart. It is the same feelings they are projecting toward me. They hate the sight of me, and they want me dead. I will use their anger and bloodlust to my advantage. All they can think about is protecting their kill. All I can think about is killing them. I act quickly, paralyzing them with small volts of electricity and I grab the biggest one of the three and rip his head from his body. I hiss as I realize that didn’t kill him. I summon even more of a charge in my body and send a blast of heat that not only turns the monster I just decapitated into ashes, and takes one of his friends with him.

I grab the third monster by his neck and slam his body against the brick wall on one side, then swing his body and toss him against the other brick wall face first. I growl and hiss, then go into a crouch. I give him no time to react and I jump onto his back. I am so overwhelmed with the situation, with the smell of the human blood, with the throbbing of my fangs, that for reasons I am unclear of, I pull his head back and sink my fangs into the monsters neck with brutal force.

Even though I know what I am doing is wrong I can’t ignore the power I already feel surging through my body from his strong, toxic blood. It burns my throat going down, like cheap whiskey. I can feel my body absorbing every cell. I can feel a forceful power building in my stomach. I release the monster I just drained dry and turn him to ash. I stumble back because already the power is strong. It has been a long time since I felt this. I can feel it’s not the same. Different, but too much for me at this moment in my life. This new building pressure scares me so I close my eyes and throw myself at the mercy of the wind.

********************************** 

It is hard for me to watch her struggle, watch her try to hide who she is because she feels as if she can’t continue to be that person without her Lost Lover. I almost can’t take it when she breaks down and calls out to him. I wish they could to be together, for her, my child, I wish nothing but good. I begin to see a new purpose, a new era with Alelan, this vision drives me to change the course of her travels and close my eyes. It will be over soon Alelan, soon my child.

**********************************

TEoBB Chapter 1. Dark Seas

Beta: Allison Cullen 

The Evolution of Breaking Bonds 

Chapter 1 

Dark Seas 

How long has it been? Time is never something I had ever focused on with my old family, my Lost Lover. It was something I barely knew to exist while in his arms, something I didn’t bother to notice…until now.

As I lay on the moss covered ground, I struggle to keep my pain to myself. It is no longer mental torment that plagues me, it is now physical. At first the physical pain was easy to ignore, because the agony of the loss I feel is much, much worse. Now though, the pain is not just from loss, but from hunger, hunger for his blood. This is when I realized it had been too long.

I made a promise to him, a promise that he will not feel or know the same pain. To him I don’t even exist, to him he suffers no loss. I vowed it will be my pain, my pain alone, to carry for eternity. I didn’t know it would hurt this much.

Oh god, is there any clarity in this insanity, which is my burden?

It isn’t making it any easier on my body that I am losing blood. When I made my vow, and played with time, I undid so many things. I never once thought about the toxins I had once taken from my allies. I should have known that idea was the Mega Beast and not my part of my destiny. I tried to think about how many times I’d bled monthly, but the twitching in my body, the muscle spasms made it so hard to concentrate, to think. In the time that I've been here I’ve barely moved at all, as something as light as bending a finger sent my stomach churning and fire rippling through my muscles and limbs.

As I attempt to occupy my mind, I could remember maybe four times including now that I’ve bled. Realizing this made the convolutions harder to bear, harder to control. I try to lift myself, try like hell to get off the ground and do something, but it is no use. I don’t have the strength for anything, not even the strength to protect myself. It had been…weeks possibly since I was able to expand my shield, which sucks, because that means I am exposed to everything.

This can’t be my eternity could it? Lying here on this forest floor for the rest of my unnatural life. There were so many things I never thought to ask because I was so happy.

With him. Nothing mattered…as long as I was with him. I regret it now; I just want to know how to survive without him. That’s all.

I roll onto my back and glance at the night sky. I can’t see it clearly because the canopy from the trees is too thick. I’d taken refuge here a while back, when I lost the ability to shield myself from the killer rays of the sun.

“Please, if you can hear me, please either take me or send me in the direction of what I am supposed to do now.” My voice was nothing now. My throat’s so dry it hurts to even mumble.

***************************************************** 

Seeing my child lost and in despair kills me. I command it to rain, a downpour to help clean her up and offer some relief to her dehydrated skin. I want to help her in so many ways, but the vow to carry the pain was hers to make, so it is hers alone to bear. 


Toying with events here and there, relief was on the way, but I have to be smart about it. She is far too good a soul to intentionally harm another, even though she is starving. 


I watch her as she attempts to sleep in the mud and dirt. I want to pick her up and pull the debris from her hair,the ticks and mites from her skin and pull her close. I want to assure her that I will never leave her and that in my shadow lies the peace and grace that she seeks. But first she must decide to follow me, first she must decide that the ‘mother or father’ of her greatest enemy was worthy of her trust, worthy to lead. I want to give her everything because right now, she feels like she has nothing.

Nothing but pain, nothing but emptiness.

************************************************************** 

I don’t know why I try to sleep. It’s almost impossible to do when your body is trembling. I open my eyes and like the rest of me my vision is failing me. There is never anything new to see anyways, everything is always the same. My eyelids began to close again, because I just don’t have the energy to keep them open. Then I realize something is different, not a sight, but sounds.

Someone is coming toward me. I flare my nostrils and take in as much air around me as my lungs will allow. It’s two men, and by the sounds of it, they are pulling something. My body tenses because I’d picked this area in hopes that I would never come across humans. I am such a danger to them.

So much for hoping.

I let my eye lids fall again, hoping it’s a bad dream. If not I hope at the very least they won’t see me.

“What the-?” One male exclaimed. I felt him walk closer and I held my breath. I feel the toe of his boot bump against my arm. They obviously think I’m dead.

“Fuck we are not going to bury her body too.” Another male’s voice called out as I hear him drop what he is dragging.

I squeeze my eyes shut. This is such a bad situation. I could tell that what they are dragging is human, and it is bleeding, barely alive. My gums start to throb as my fangs elongate. I want to get up and run away. I push through the thought of feeding from them; as thirsty as I am, I have no doubt I will kill them. I don’t want to be a killer.

“No, this bag of bones is not what I am worried about.” The first male stated and then he kicks me. Out of reflex I growl, but since my throat is so dry and he doesn't react. I figured it was far too low for him to hear. “All we need to worry about is the child, we have to bury her deep too, we don’t want anyone finding her.”

I flare my nostrils again when I heard him say ‘child’. The body they are dragging is a child, a female and even though my senses are dull I can tell by the scent of her blood that she is no older then sixteen.

Human or not, the idea these animals hurt a child infuriates me. I feel a surge of power come from somewhere deep inside me. It hits me hard and fast. I grab the man closest to me by the leg and pull hard. I hear his bones break, and the howl he lets out assures me that I have just broken his leg. He drops to the ground beside me. I intend on making it quick and painless for him.

Before I can act on my thirst I hear the other man shout loudly, “What the fuck?” He then raises a gun aiming for me. I hissed then growled and I am terrified because I have no shield to protect me from bullets. I lunge for the man with the gun and send him falling back. I hear the gun go off and I feel a burn in my shoulder. A broken branch pierced the man’s body as he fell back, sending his blood in small rosy droplets onto my face. I feel my control snap and my hunger prevails. I pull my lips back and sink my teeth deep into his neck. As his warm blood gushes over my tongue I can taste the cheap liquor. When it mixes with the salty sweat on his skin it leaves a coarse taste on my tongue and in my mouth. I feel the man die underneath me, but I feel my own body awaken. He is nothing compared to the blood of my Lost Lover, but it is better than nothing.

I hear the gun cock behind me and react instantly turning and lunging simultaneously on the man whose leg I had just broken. I sink my fangs deep into his jugular relishing in the feel as his blood rushes into my mouth. I am so starved for blood that it only takes me mere seconds to drain him. I look at the blood on my hands as I stand over the second man’s carcass and the aura that left me has now returned, covering my hands and then moving over my arm to cover the rest of my body. It’s not nearly as strong as it had been before, but it’s strong enough to get me going.

I hear a small whimper from behind me. It’s the child. I retract my fangs and walk over to her and then kneel beside her. The child’s face is beaten so badly her eyes are swollen shut. She’s naked and shivering. I do the only thing I can think of. I reach for my first kill’s shirt and rip it from his body, then drape it over the child’s body.

“Shh, I won’t hurt you.”

The young girl doesn't say a thing, only moans. I take pants from one of the men, and then the thick flannel from the other. I put them as gently as I can onto the girl and then I reach out with my mind to search hers. I need to know where she came from. I tense when memories of the last three days of her life rush at me. Those fucking men had starved her, raped her, and beat her. She thought she was going to die. It brought back memories of my own death many years ago.

I can’t dematerialize with the frail human in my arms. This frustrates me. Human blood isn’t strong enough to return that kind of power. Walking is all I can do. I lift her into my arms and walk in whatever direction my gut dictates. I don’t have to walk far before I reach a road, and across that road I spot a large house. It dawns on me that this whole time I have been in a state park or something, but I am still lost as to where I really am in the world.

The first house I see is good enough for me. The child in my arms needs medical attention and quickly. It is the only house in my sights that have all the lights on. “You will be okay. I will make sure of it,” I whispered against her ear. I close my eyes resting my forehead against hers for just a second before kissing her head and placing her gently on the doorstep. I ring the doorbell and ghost into the shadows, listening as the residents come for the door.

The man who answers the door looks to be someone who takes care of himself and no doubt by the size and feeling I get from the home the male takes care of his family as well. He glances down on the fragile body that lay on his front step. He exhales and immediately calls for his wife, and then yells for her to call 911. I feel better knowing that the child will receive the medical attention she needs.

I really hope the girl makes it, and hope even more that they will locate the child’s parents. The girl is far too young to experience such a horrific thing.

While the people who live in the house are occupied by the child I laid on their porch, still in shadow I make my way inside the home. I make my way through the home searching through drawers and random papers, unsure of what I am looking for. I come across a piece of mail received the day before with the address Southborough, Massachusetts. It is a coupon from a nearby store. I slide it into my pocket and make my way silently out of the home leaving the occupants to deal with the child.

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Alelan, she is a pure soul. The purest of what is left. I am truly blessed she took the offering I sent to her. 


As I watched her gain control of the mental and physical pain to save that child, my heart filled with hope. The home she picked for the child was the best, and she does not know it yet, but those people are wealthy with love. The child is an orphan, no home, no family, and no love…until now.

I watch now as she moves through the home unseen and unheard. I am merry when I watch her look for an indication of her whereabouts. She is now taking the first step to her evolution, the first step to becoming whole again. I send the animals around the forest to feast on the carcasses of the filthy humans she killed.

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I make my way back to the bodies of the men I drained of life to clean the mess I made, only to find that natures scavengers had already begun to take care of it for me.

Maybe someone, something heard my plea for help. That has to be the case, how lucky could I possibly get that the first humans I kill are men of hate and violence. Their death gave me something in return. A life to save. It feels so good to do something good, it had been months.

I don’t feel as good as I know I can, but I feel so much better. I know from talks with my old family that human blood is not strong enough to sustain our kind for long, this meant they had to feed more often. They never killed the humans they fed from, only took what they needed, erased their memories and then sent the hosts on their way.

For a brief moment I thought maybe if I took from them I could give them something in return. The thought only lingers for a moment. Nothing will fill the void I feel not having my Lost Lover and children in my life. I don’t want to die though, I vowed I would carry this pain and the idea of me lying flairs the pain that I was able to suppress while I cared for the child

The rushing pain makes my knees weak and I can’t hold myself up so I fall to the forest floor. I begin to think about all the things that the Mega Beast said to me. I think about the chain of past events that happen and led me to make the decision to walk away silently from the people that mean so much to me. It was all lies.

Was there any destiny at all? Is this my destiny? To be a solitary vampire, roaming the world with no real legions, no family, no love.

The idea of this all being true made me swallow over and over again, because it’s just not something that goes down easily. I don’t know of any way out of my nightmare. I can’t escape the loss and I am not sure it’s something I want to escape entirely. I am terrified that if I stop thinking about him, stop thinking about them, they will be lost forever. That is not something I am willing to let happen, at least not now.

I fight the headache that is setting in, to get to the water’s edge, pulling water from the stream in my hand to my mouth, still trying to swallow. I watch as my reflection begins to appear after the ripples settle. I reach up and touch what use to be my red, but is now filthy brown hair. My face is still stained with the blood of the human males. The tattoo around my eye is barely lit and my aura is only a light glow in comparison to the grand radiance it used to be. I swat the water sending my reflection away and I get to my feet.

I don’t want to be here, in these woods all my life. I don’t want to lose touch with the world around me.

A pain shoots from my head to my spine as the face of my Lost Lover and family haunt me. It sends me off my feet again. I pull my knees to my chest and cry. There would always be a piece of me that pulls me to return to him. His pull is so strong, and it takes everything I have to resist. It was not always just pictures of them in my mind, but the feelings that came with them. The feeling that I was home in his arms. Now that he was gone, now that I would never feel his embrace, there is no home.

Giving in I lie down and roll onto my back. I can’t stop crying, and I don’t want to. All I want to do is scream.

“I fucking hate you. You did this. You promised me a happy future, twice! Do you hear me you fucking Mega Beast? One of these days you and I are gonna come face to face again and all this pain and fucking suffering you have caused me is gonna be yours.” I throw my fists into the ground because I don’t know what else to do. “Please if you can hear me; help me find a way to get through this. This agony is tearing me apart, rendering me blind to everything around me. The very reason of which I am is no more. I don’t ever want to forget, I just want to be able to manage, please.”

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I hear your cries Alelan, and she hears your threats. I watch as she closes her eyes and gives into the wind. I change the direction of the wind’s course. I have to show her there is a source of strength for her out there. Strength she is going to need very soon. 

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Chapter 2 ->